Tie Me BASIC Down, Sport

Roberta X posted a snippet of BASIC code that implemented part of Rolf Harris's "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" routine:
30 GOTO 10
40 END
The comments are absolutely worth reading and resulted in a few design modifications - highly recommended! And, if you want to see Rolf perform the song, here's a very entertaining version:

And, from the comments, come the lyrics (though the lyrics have several verses not in the above video):
SPOKEN: There's an old Australian stockman lying, dying. He gets himself up
onto one elbow and 'e turns to his mates, who are all gathered around and 'e says:

Watch me wallabies feed, mate
Watch me wallabies feed,
They're a dangerous breed, mate
So watch me wallabies feed
Altogether now!

Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down
Tie me kangaroo down, sport
Tie me kangaroo down

Keep me cockatoo cool, Curl,
Keep me cockatoo cool
Ah, don't go acting the fool, Curl
Just keep me cockatoo cool
Altogether now!


'n' take me koala back, Jack
Take me koala back
He lives somewhere out on the track, Mac
So take me koala back
Altogether now!


Let me abos go loose, Lew
Let me abos go loose
They're of no further use, Lew
So let me abos go loose
Altogether now!


And mind me platypus duck, Bill
Mind me platypus duck
Ah, don't let 'im go running amok, Bill
Just mind me platypus duck
Altogether now!


Play your didgeridoo, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Ah, like, keep playin' 'til I shoot thru, Blue
Play your didgeridoo
Altogether now!


Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred
Tan me hide when I'm dead
So we tanned his hide when he died, Clyde
And that's it hangin' on the shed!!
Altogether now!


per bRUCE

Pull My Finger

U.N. security council evacuated due to suspicious odor

Shit smells and, when you're as full of shit as the UN is, they shouldn't be surprised that their building smelled like a sewer.
New York (CNN) -- The U.N. Security Council was evacuated Tuesday after officials noticed a "suspicious odor."

Authorities are investigating the possibility of a combination of sulfur and methane, said U.S. Ambassador Susan Rice after speaking with fire officials.

Diplomats were moved to a separate building within the U.N. complex, located next to the East River in Manhattan.

My only complaint is that they didn't relocate the diplomats into the East River.

Talk about stupid... Part 2

Police Find Stolen Decorations In Trunk After Woman's Car Breaks Down
"The vehicle that went around and stole everything actually broke down and the female arrested was in the car trying to get it started," said Officer William Gardner of the Charleroi Police Department.

Lisa Welch, 31, of Donora, was charged with eight counts of receiving stolen property. Police said they were shocked with the amount of stuff she had taken.

"Christmas trees, wreaths, statues, all kinds of Christmas lights. They were pretty much hanging out the car. She could barely fit in the car," said Gardner.

I'm impressed - two counts of sheer stupidity in as many days! And, in both cases, for so little value.

Talk about stupid...

Footprints In Snow Lead Police To Monessen Burglary Suspect
Monessen police said they followed footprints in the snow to a home next door where they arrested James Cowart, 29. The tracks led from Cowart’s back porch, straight over to the window at the club, police said.

"To me, I thought it was one of the dumbest things you could ever do," said neighbor Nancy Taylor.

Police said they found a stolen television and cash register from the club inside Cowart's home. Monessen police said Cowart later confessed to the burglary.

Seriously? I'm wondering if alcohol was involved or if this guy is always this stupid?

There can be only one ...

A co-worker surprised me with this today. I believe it speaks for itself.

The Real TSA

Looks like the TSA wants to make a documentary - try to help the public understand it a bit better. We've got a sneak peak of the teaser poster:

Cats and Dogs, Living Together

Mass Hysteria seems to be the apt descriptor of the madness that surrounded the BP Deep Horizon spill. Despite rants, dire predictions, and scare tactics that would make Walter Peck blush, it seems that not only is the Gulf not suffering, it's actually doing quite well.

The Great Oil Spill Panic of 2010 will go down in history as mass hysteria on par with the Dutch tulip bubble.
The catastrophists were wrong (again) about the Deep Water Horizon oil spill. There have been no major fish die-offs. On the contrary, a comprehensive new study says that in some of the most heavily fished areas of the Gulf of Mexico, various forms of sea life, from shrimp to sharks, have seen their populations triple since before the spill. Some species, including shrimp and croaker, did even better.
The growth of the fish population is not occurring because oil is good for fish. Rather, it is occurring because fishing is bad for fish. When fishing was banned for months during the spill, the Gulf of Mexico experienced an unprecedented marine renaissance that overwhelmed any negative environmental consequences the oil may have had, researchers say.
I have to wonder - how much worse for the environment was the carbon footprint of the news media who so desperately turned the event into a 24/7 circus and made the "Jersey Shore" seem like investigative reporting?

Your junk - I can touch it?

Looks like my recent post, TSA: Doing Nothing ... Instead of Something, struck a chord with one lunatic. Looks like he did a drive-by and left a copy-and-paste rant from his website.
I stand by my statement support full screening of passengers boarding commercial flights. After being made a villain over it let me restate my position.
We are dealing with factions of tourists groups that will not hesitate to use any and all means at their disposal to kill Americans; including the weaponization of children.
My disagreement yesterday with on twitter @victoria_29 , lead to her calling me a child molester because I said even children should be screen when boarding a flight. I stand by my statement.
If you have never dealt first hand with these people you do not know what they are capable of and maybe you should drive or walk because I do not want you on a plane. Yes, we need better screening methods, HOWEVER we must Have Screening.

GOD Bless you if you have never traveled abroad or fought in a combat zone were children and the other innocents are used BUT do not stand in judgment of those of us who have and know what can and will happen if we allow it.

All passengers boarding a commercial flight should be screened

We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

- Mr. Samples, in a comment on the post

Seems Mr. Samples is making the age-old mistake of confusing feelings with reality. There are two big assumptions he is making in his comment, both of which are actually not true:

Assumption 1: Terrorism is easy
Assumption 2: The screening provided by the TSA is effective.

Let's look at the first assumption: Terrorism is easy. From what Mr. Samples has said, I'm guessing his view of terrorism is something like this:

1. Hate the infidels and wish them dead
2. Call for jihad!
3. ?????
4. Weaponized children dropping planes from the sky.

Now, I'll agree that in some parts of the world, this may very well be true. Areas where radical versions of Islam are used to poison the minds of children and where abject poverty is the rule rather than the exception. In these areas, yes, I could imagine that is not difficult to recruit men, women, and children into doing horrible things with the promise of money or 72 virgins in the afterlife. On the other hand, here in the United States, there is no easy crucible in which to foment the hatred and desperation which are necessary for men, women, and children to commit such acts of barbarism - not in a country where even the poor have flat screens and cell phones.

No - in order to accomplish their goals, these men have to be imported from the other side of the world. They must be extremely desperate and loyal men. Men who can resist the temptations and the easy living that they'll find here. These men have to be heavily indoctrinated and well trained in order to accomplish their mission before the vast luxuries we take for granted can corrupt them.

None of this is easy or cheap or quick. And this is one of the main reasons we have experienced relatively few attacks on our country.

Assumption #2, that the TSA provides effective screening, is even easier to refute. How many stories have we heard about people getting knives, guns, explosives, and yet more guns through security. And now they're going Full Monty and rolling out the body scanning systems. Unfortunately:

* Airport body scanners would be "unlikely" to detect many of the explosive devices used by terrorist groups, a Tory MP has warned.

* Generally, the machines can't find items stashed in a body cavity. So the scanners wouldn't stop at least one common smuggling method used by drug traffickers.

The TSA as an actual security apparatus is a farce. They do not effectively screen passengers and, as a result, do not make the skies any safer. The only methods that have resulted in any improved security are government intelligence operations and passengers fighting back. Intelligence operations discovered and stopped the "liquid bombers". Passengers stopped the "shoe" bomber and the "underwear" bomber. There are better ways for us to spend the millions of dollars we flush down the TSA toilet every year and none of them involve groping children or playing Peeping Tom.

Mr. Samples closed out his rant with a quote from the Constitution and I shall do the same.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
And here is Mr. McGowan, former Assistant TSA Administrator, agreeing that the TSA is violating the Fourth Amendment:

Hat tips to Alan and Peter

Biden Motorcade Mystery Solved

VP Joe Biden has been in the news lately for a series of accidents while being ferried about by his motorcade. After much digging, the mystery has finally been solved.

Premature Charging

Via Grumpy Dispatcher at Three Mouse Clicks from Disaster:

I've seen this happen on several occasions. As a truckie, we very rarely hit a hydrant and I've been fortunate to never witness this on our own rig. But a neighboring department actually bent several of the hose bed dividers after doing this too many times. And, as a truckie, we certainly don't let them live it down!